When a doctor tells you that you’re having twins it might come as quite the surprise. My husband had the biggest smile on his face when he heard the news. I, on the other hand, wondered more critically about what my life would look like after twins.

I thought that I would be so busy I’d never find a moment for myself ever again. No more trips. No more bottomless mimosa brunches. No more spontaneity. It was all over.

Now that my twins are 7 months old, I’ve realized that having twins is certainly different from having a single child – but, to my surprise, there are many pros and cons of having to twins that I never considered.

Having twins benefits the parents because you have two children at once and get to care for them in the same life stage at one time.

This article will outline the pros and cons to having twins by life stage.

Pregnancy

Pro: You get two babies with one pregnancy.

While I never considered the idea of having twins, many women would stop me in the streets to tell me how they always wanted twins. Having twins is especially desirable for folks who planned on having a large family anyway. Imagine wanting to have four children total and only having to go through the nine months three times because one of the pregnancies was twins.

Pro: You get two babies with one delivery.

No surprise here, but delivering a baby is no walk in the park (and it doesn’t matter how many children you’ve had already). Having to go to the hospital and either push or get a c section – and then the aftermath. We go through this pain and it’s totally worth it to have our children in this world.

However, to go through that effort once and get two babies out of the deal feels like a steal.

Pro: The pregnancy usually shorter than with a single baby.

Twins pregnancies last 36-37 weeks, instead of the usual 40 weeks for a full term pregnancy.

Con: The pregnancy is harder on your body.

Not gonna lie… having been pregnant with one baby and then two, I know for sure the twin pregnancy whipped my butt in comparison. I gained more weight, nearly 100 pounds vs 40 pounds with my single pregnancy. My vagina felt like it was going to fall right out of my body starting around my third month of pregnancy. Both my legs and feet swelled up to about twice their original size.

I kept asking my doctors if this was normal. They assured me that for a twin pregnancy, it was.

Con: Increased likelihood of pregnancy complications.

According to hopkinsmedicine.org, multiple pregnancy has increased risks for complications in multiple areas, including: preterm labor and birth, birth defects, miscarriages and more.

Since our twins were identical and shared a placenta, we had a higher risk of twin-twin transfusion syndrome and had to get sonograms every two weeks to make sure that both of our babies were getting the blood and nutrients they needed.

Infancy

Pro: You complete each stage once.

This is where having twin shines in comparison to having one baby and then another. When you have two children separately, you have to go through several years of changing diapers for one child and then the next. The same goes for sleep training, potty training and those dreaded years before they can go to public school. You go through the early stages of childhood one time.

That means you’ll get through 3-4 miserable months of feeding every 3 hours, sleep training potty training for two children at one time. It’s the ultimate efficiency.

Pro: They share everything.

Many people assume that when you have twins you need to get two of everything and that’s just not true. (We ended up getting two of most things because we got lots of hand-me-downs at our baby shower.)

Here are a few things you can use one (or one set) of for two children:

• Changing table
• Bathtub
• Toys/Books
• Play pen
• Swing, bouncer, walker
• Baby bag
• Bottles
• Baby food containers

They also share all of their clothes. We don’t need a huge abundance of clothes, we realized we only needed about 10-15 onesies and we’d wash them when we ran out.

Pro: You meet other twin moms who want to help out.

The mom community is very strong because to some degree we share the same struggle. We know what it feels like to be a mom and that shines through in our compassion for each other.

Con: You’ll have two babies to feed every three hours.

This is the worst part. Newborns must eat every three hours, including through the night hours. When there are two babies to feed, you may find that the whole process of feeding and changing diapers for both babies last an hour or longer. That means you might only get to sit down for an hour and a half before it’s time to do it all over again.

Don’t worry, your children will grow out of the notorious feed every three hours phase and you’ll be able to enjoy a good night’s sleep soon enough.

Con: Double the formula and diapers.

Unless you’re planning on breastfeeding your children the entire time (and your body cooperates with you by supplying enough milk) and wrapping your babies in cloth diapers until they figure out the potty, you’ll be spending some serious coins on formula and diapers. In both of these cases, you’ll be spending exactly double what you would spend if you were only feeding and diapering one child.

Con: Longer feeding times.

Most people don’t rush their newborn babies to eat. They eat when they eat and it takes however long it takes. Well, multiply that unknown length feeding time by two.

6 Months+

Pro: Forever friend and playmate

From the moment your babies start to notice faces and acknowledge other people in a room, they will notice there’s another child laying next to them, sitting next to them and touching things in their space. They’ll look at each other, touch each other, do tummy time together and fall on each other as they both learn to sit up on their own. They’ll try first foods together, go on walks in the double stroller together and stay those googly baby words to each other.

They’ll never be alone.

Pro: Same age and stage through life

The various stages of parenting are fun to go through… but they’re also fun to end. I appreciate the experiences with my children, but gosh darn it, I would be lying if I didn’t celebrate every tiny milestone knowing that it’ll be the last time I celebrate it.

Pro: One baby per parent – all hands on deck

When there’s one baby to take care of, you really only need one parent to do the world. As a babysitter most of my teens and early twenties, I saw a lot of resentment from the primary parent towards the other parent because the parenting fell on them.

When there are two children to care for, two babies to love both parents always have something to do. The teamwork between the two parents grow exponentially during this time because all hands are needed on deck.

Con: Individuality

When you’re born as a twin it’s difficult to develop your own sense of individuality because everyone sees you and immediately sees your twin in you as well. Allowing your children to develop the person they want to be, independent of their twin, is already challenging for us even though they’re 6 months old.

Con: Comparing children

From the moment they are born you’ll hear things like “this baby is bigger than the other” or “this is the trouble maker” or “this is the talker.” While you’ll try not to compare as much as possible, it doesn’t stop the gentle noticing when one baby starts to hold their bottle and you’re still holding up the other baby’s bottle waiting for the day you can give your arms a rest.

Con: Twins take attention from older children.

When strangers (or even close family and friends) see twin babies, it’s unavoidable not to be astonished by them. They’ll ask “are they twins?” to be sure that they’re properly gushing about the twins. I don’t mind people introducing themselves and asking about the twins, but I don’t like the general disregard for our older child. It’s almost as if she’s invisible.

Con: More difficult to take out as babies.

First, it’s more difficult to get out the door. I remember packing up my daughter – I would just throw her in the car seat and roll. Now, I have to get two babies dressed, put two babies into two car seats and then carry both car seats into the car. I can’t even see both of them because one is positioned right behind me and the mirror I bought only allows me to see the baby behind the passenger seat.

When you arrive at a restaurant, you have to hope both children are quiet the entire time. And, on occasion, you’ll get the double whammy – where one baby has a fit and the second baby starts crying as soon as you get the first baby quiet.